I feel so alone, no matter how many people are around me, no matter who I have in my life, may it be an animal, a person, a garden or an entire community, I feel so alone, this loneliness is with me, not with the earth, with life, with the universe, this loneliness I feel is only within me, when I enter this aloneness within me, I can find the effect and cause.
The effect and cause of this loneliness is standing within a time within this world of consequence, and yet I must within this stand within self-responsibility, and this I know I can only find within myself, I cannot run to a mom or dad and say, please hold me and take care of everything, please take the problems away. Please make everything better. This is not going to work, because I realized within myself now as an adult, as a father, that even with being all that, I am now within the shoes of my parents, and they probably feel the same. As I can assume we are all human and thus have the same designs.
So within realizing this now within my location and position within this world, it becomes scary, it becomes overwhelming, the fact that there is NO authority out there that actually stands as authority, it has all been a deceptive game being played. The people that runs our countries, the governments, the people that we trust with our systems (which makes us equally responsible), they are all just like me, my parents, the adults I used to know, now an adult, and realizing that this adult stage isn’t an adult stage, it is just a face of a phase that is put on while hiding all the fears, the insecurities, it is all the same, and I stand now within this realization that no one actually knows what the fuck they are doing, because I grew up to become an adult just to realize that there is no such thing, just no one ever tells you it’s all a lie and that nothing is going to be okay.
It is easy to play a role of being an “adult” when there is money and money can buy the things you need for security and comforts and luxuries, but when there isn’t money, then the real fears comes out, then suddenly things become more real and when things become more real the real self comes out, and this real self is still a child, immature to stand as actual authority and maturity. This child does not know basic living principles or have never developed common sense to live buy, as money has always made the decisions.
So, why do I feel alone within myself? It hasn’t been answered yet within the above written work, but I am going into it, I am finding that the realization itself is why there is an experience of being all alone, because I have seen this now, I cannot unsee it, when I talk to people I realize the immaturity, there is no adult, there is no common sense, there is no principles that is guiding anyone’s lives, never mind the world, it is all hope and opinions, believes, ideas – this isn’t trustworthy, this isn’t reliable, this isn’t solid, it is flimsy and can quickly fall apart.
Has any adult ever told you something along these lines: I do not know what I am doing, why I am here, what I live for, or that everything will not be okay, because I do not know who is in control of our society, I know the government is there and even though they are corrupt and stealing, I still do not know how our daily lives are functioning, how we are still here making it with a salary every month and affording all the things we have, even with all the countries in the world having to function together to be able to live and yet have wars, I have no idea how shit works, I cannot tell you if It is going to be okay, even though the world is getting worse, I as an adult do not want to tell you that, I will rather lie to you and keep the illusion on, pretend my day In and day out job is amazing, pretend that my relationship is amazing and that the life we have is amazing – has any adult ever come out and say that to you? That shit isn’t going to be okay because we adults all around the world have never really come together and made a clear living condition for this earth that all children must grow up in and then function within, we have just been isolating you in a bubble to make it all look okay, basically lie to you. And YOU/ME fell for it, never challenging it at all, even when we could see.
Well – I am a fucking adult now and I can on behalf of ALL other adults in this world tell you all that, we are fucked. There is NO future for this planet, and I as an adult can tell you that you as an adult are not really an adult, you have been pretending just like me, you have been lying just like me, you have been keeping up this fucking fake reality just like me, and we are raising our children in this…. Why?? I can tell you as an adult having to live for money ISN'T what I wanted life to be, but I played along and pretended, how dare we as adults tell our children through lies that everything will be okay? When it clearly isn’t, we can lie about Santa Claus, but please NOT about life, and please do not sell your children good stories about the afterlife, that does not sort out anything.
STOP pretending as an adult that you know anything, you do not know anything, if you did then this world would have been an all knowing place and not some dumbed down dump where the few can easily sell shit to us by just walking through a mall with a few advertisements. Why could adults NEVER teach me about where thoughts come from? What the fuck they are, where feelings come from, how we create them, how they affect our entire life, what thoughts/feelings and emotions to stop and not to participate in because they will fuck me up in the future, explaining to me as a child how shit works, why was I always given airy fairy explanations about things? Because there wasn’t really any adults around.
The LIE sold to us as children that there is a thing like adults that is taking care of this planet and our futures and understanding life and how things work, is what fucks us up in the long run. This is something I had to and can only now realize with being an adult, a father, a husband a person that has been in the system and learned the system and seen the system and has to survive in the system, this does NOT make you an adult that knows shit, this is a person pretending and faking it till you make it, where you can retire and then say, look I succeeded, I now know what LIFE is all about, its Bullshit, it’s how a perfect slave lives, and still being one of the lucky ones that has opportunity for money, it is how someone lives that actually knows nothing, and as a teenager I was eager to just become that, that adult, to go into it and live it, how wonderful. Luckily for me, I didn’t have the luxuries in life that pushed me into different paths in life, to show me some real hard points and to then have a stable life, and I am still young.
So I know, all adults reading this, I am writing from my own experience and within the understanding of this point. Not within a judgment, but it is time we as adults stop pretending and start realizing that there is no such thing as an adult, and soon you will and might first have a fright when you realize shit, the world is run by fucking morons (this is all of us) that only know how to deceive and manipulate, and that’s not mature and being an adult, and actually also have NO clue what is being done or where the world is heading, just taking it as it comes, no common sense and NO actual understanding of life and how creation works. Just winging it.
Then we can all actually mature and actually develop common sense and actually develop real authority and through that can we actually start LIVING and creating a world that ISN'T a lie to our children but in fact so, this will take time and I know for one, that it is a hard thing to realize, as I see my son and his eyes and see how I would only want the best for him and how I would do anything for him to have that best for the rest of his life, but that’s selling a lie still, because as long as this world is fucked, none of us can claim to be adults, to be mature, to be actual authorities that care about our children’s futures, because on day, they will enter this world, and then the lies will burst and they will suddenly have to face the reality we have accepted and allowed for them through pretending. But I forsee the reality coming to everyone’s doorsteps much sooner as the world isn’t getting better, time for pretending to end and REAL parenting to start.
So let’s stop being adults as we currently know it and start actually educating and taking self-responsibility for ourselves to actually understand reality, how we work as beings, how creation works and get down to taking this earth back and making it a place we adults know it can be for our children, for our future generations, to be actual mature people, actual beings with common sense and understanding.
There is one place I started many years ago, and this is Desteni.org and Bernard Poolman and The Portal.
We have a long journey ahead of us if we truly want to become adults. We can at least start being real about our situation in communication. We can change it with patience and time and unity, equality and oneness. Sharing and openness, Taking self-responsibility for ourselves within ourselves and understanding ourselves first. That’s the first step as this will change all our relationships, with our children and with the world system, lets develop some principles to live and stand by, lets base our foundations on something solid that is Best for all LIFE. And Desteni is just the place, guaranteed – walk the DIP LITE free online course and I can also be your Buddy, work with me work with yourself, and grow.